body positivity, fitness, fitness journey

How VIT E helped me tame my loose skin

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Again.

Look at yourself in the mirror. When you look at the perfect people on screen, in films and commercials, the aim of the maker's is to generate envy. They have been prodded and edited to such an extent that they don't recognise themselves. Yet, when you look at them, you are supposed to want to be them. You should want to feel as skinny. As perfectly curvy. With amazing skin and an enviable wardrobe. Don't. As a filmaker, I know the amount of work that goes in to create those images and when they make you feel not so good, look at yourself in the mirror and see that you are perfect. . . . . . . . . . . . . #strong #mentalhealth #filmmaker #filmsecrets #media #bodyimage #loveyourself #instapic #redhair #filmmaker #Canadian #torontoblogger #bodyimage #quotes #selfcare #redhairdontcare #femalefilmmaker #lovequotes #inspirationalquotes #indiangirl

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I wanted to pinch out the skin poking out from my tummy, I hated it. I poked hard and felt the two abs I had worked hard on all summer. And looking at me, you would never guess how much protein I ingest and how hard I worked out and how heavy I lift.

My loose skin was my Everest.

I decided to document it in a video HERE.

How being strong and healthy and finally in the correct weight and BMI and BMR and every possible scale does not mean you look like it.

I would wear tight clothes and see a roll seep out. How I hated my loose skin.

So, I went to my trainer. He is the best trainer ever and if you are ever in Delhi, hit me up and I will direct you to him.


We discussed ways to tackle my loose skin and he was at a loss. We experimented with many strengthening creams and lotions and I started wearing a waist trainer as I went back home to London, all in the hopes of seeing my ab definition, if ever!

Every night, I had the same routine and every time I just felt NOTHING.

I understood the limitations of my body post losing almost 100 pounds.

I would never have the perfect body! I had taken my body for a ride and had ignored it so much that I should be happy with whatever I got.

I accepted my fate.

But something in me did not.

Fast Forward one year and I was shopping at Calvin Klein store in New York. A dream come true right?

Ever since I could remember myself, I would buy the cheapest pair of jeans possible in stretchy material and then wrestle with it in the trial room and cover it up with long tops. So, I was delirious as I entered Calvin Klein stores and did nit get stared at but was suddenly offered size 4 and size 6 jeans to try!.
A single digit size!!!

Now, technically, I am a size 2, but we are not talking numbers here. In my happiest body moment, my loose skin hit me hard again and I had to buy a size 8 pair because the loose skin on my thighs would not let me inside a size 6.

That night, as it rained outside my window, I went back to my roots. And it jumped at me.

Dermatologists speak so much about Vit E and I had tried all possible creams and lotions and I was wary.

But which naturally occurring thing has more Vit E than anything?


I got me some virgin coconut oil added in sugar granules and every night massaged my whole body with it.

I remembered how my yoga guru would tell us to always massage the body with oil before taking a warm bath and I did that. Every single day.

And the results?

A no filter #transformationtuesday I bulked and cut and lost weight and am so happy with my results. And despite the physical change a strong mental change has ensued. I have started a journey of discovering myself. Cliched enough? But under layers of fat and bad eating habits and stupid society, you tend to shut yourself in a cage. I am on youtube now, breaking the cage so that no one goes through what I did. we are beautiful at all sizes and fitness is about making you the best version of yourself. Join me on liftlikeagirl . . . . . . . . . #fitfam #fitlife #girlswithmuscles #beautiful #ukfitfam #weightloss #selflove #instafit #stronghold #strong #delhigirl #londonblogger #fitfam #bodybuilding #femalefitnessmotivation #indianfitness

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Let’ s just look at my amazing definition in THIS VIDEO right here.

Speaks for itself doesn’t it?

fitness journey

Motivate me for the GYM

I hear you sound again and I hate you again.

My alarm rings and I want to snuggle up deep in my blankets again.

The lean winter season means there are fewer shoots and more paperwork. The script I am writing is creating a hole in my head and my heart and my social media work is still ON TIME.


What happened to practising and preparing and planning?

Well, I was never a sucker for that and however much I want, I can never really write in journals and plan every moment of my life.



The alarm rings again and I NEED to shut it off. I have meetings with producers, scrips to finesse, actors to see and argue about a reasonable job to do, but first, I NEED TO GYM.

HERE I share my pre-gym getting ready routine.


If there is one thing I need NO MOTIVATION for, it is going out and working.

And even though its snowing and temperatures are sub zero, I walk to the gym and feel happy about it. So here I share some of my reasons to be MOTIVATED for the gym.

  1. I love love love the ENDORPHIN rush the workout gives and then for hours I am a happy bubble that works like in cartoons.
  2. The strength I feel while lifting makes me get rid of all the tension and the ache in the muscles just feels so good.
  3. Sticking to a healthy routine makes my body feel light and I do not binge on junk foods and feel no reason to either smoke or drink alcohol and it just feels real good, like a high.
  4. I kickstart my day with a workout and everything seems to flow smoothly.

What are your reasons to be fit?


And if you do not have reasons, drop in the comments the reason THAT WILL MOTIVATE you to be fit?

body positivity, fitness journey, Life Lessons

“I feel fat”

Feeling Fat??

Fat is NOT a feeling and the fact that you feel fat means that you have succumbed to the society’s pressure of looking a certain way.


Have you?

Let’s hope not.

What you actually feel is sluggish, lazy and bleh.

This could happen for a lot of reasons, if you are an active person, it could be a lack of physical activity or if you ate a lot or were recently sick, you will be overwhelmed by this emotion which is NOT FAT.

So, as I struggled with holiday food and feeling bleh and not FAT.

I decided to showcase my favourite gym wear and shot a haul video.

Now, I am NOT a haul video kinda gal.

I am more about showing my workouts and sharing body love as far and wide as I could.


Digging into the depths of youtube, I saw so many super fit girls sharing their gym haul and it filled me with a sense of guilt and sadness and more bleh. I lost my abs and as I was bulking, I am thick.



This video is an attempt by me to feel better and show y’all what a regular person feeling bleh, wearing a gym haul feels like. And it did make me feel better and better news?


I felt inspired enough to hit the gym the next day!

All in a good day’s shoot?

Watch my trailer here and maybe click HERE for the video if you liked it.


fitness, fitness journey, Healthy Recipes

THE 1 Month January RESET

I trudged across my staircase, turned the heating on a bit and looked at the snow fall faster outside the window.
The white blanket got thicker and a shiver ran down my spine. I picked up my hot soy coffee mug and sipped the caffeine filled deliciousness.
Contrary to all my planning and plotting and the tempting masquerade ball invite in Downtown, I was snuggled in my house with family, about to start a Grey’s Anatomy binge with my sisters and I could not be happier.
Except when I was alone like this, staring at the city lights, fuzzy with snow and a smattering of some lone last minute shoppers.
Since, thanksgiving, I had been confined (mostly willingly) to the house, working on my projects and scripts and bulking. But ever since Christmas and that eventful cold day at the Distillery District in Downtown, I was a home buddy.


I knew January was round the corner

and with work gaining steam, I would have to get off my comfort zone and hit the work force again.

And I was a fluffy pile of mess. I had indulged myself in holiday food, cream, cheese and often cupcakes for breakfast and then mac and cheese for three straight days.

I forgive myself and so should you.


But let’s hit January with full force now.

What is the January Reset?

  1. A way to get acquainted with a fit lifestyle without overwhelming your body and mind.
  2. A four week program to kickstart your body, clean the holiday mess and detox you.
  3. Simple diet plans that YOU can modify and not feel unhappy about.
  4. A support group of highly curated people who will ENCOURAGE YOU.


So what are you waiting for???






fitness, fitness journey

How to start yoga practice?

I have been asked a gazzilllion times about how to start a yoga practice.

Do you have to be a yogi and retreat into the Himalayas to get into it or should you be so flexible that you twist and turn yourself into a pretzel?

I have had the pleasure of learning and practicing yoga in both, the western world and lately, in India.

My Story:

My first ever yoga class was at a local teacher’s class and at that point in my life, I did not know that getting a good yoga teacher is half the job done. Now, this woman was all heart but no skill. She mixed up online youtube yoga sessions with her version of jumping around the room chanting Om at the highest volume. Her incense filled room with intensive chakra art was enough to intimidate anyone. Needless to say, I never returned after a month of wierd zumbaish yoga classes and I was crushed.

I later got in touch with an Ashtanga yoga teacher and since was based up north in England and I was down south, our sessions were online and she would make pictures of poses for me to follow and I felt happy with my practice but i wanted to more.

During my last trip in India, I started looking up yoga retreats and classes and most of them were just out to cheat you. One woman asked me to pay up a huge amount of money first before even considering the classes. I felt like this was a bad money making business now and felt a tinge of sadness at not being able to learn yoga in India, the birthplace of yoga.

In the later years, I started lifting more and as I loved getting instant results or just hitting the iron hard, yoga took a backseat in my life.

I met some very funny and crazy characters during this phase. I was still looking for a good teacher and I met an overzealous religious leader who prescribed me to stop eating bread, lay off caffeine and ONLY eat vegetarian food to consider getting results in his classes, I ran for dear life. One woman preached to me about the intensity and greatness of Indian culture and Hinduism and as I am against ALL FORMS OF ORGANISED RELIGION I despised it.

Last month, my father found an Iyengar yoga centre in Delhi and as I was here, I did some research, found it credible and visited the centre.

It was like finding home.

For the first time, I did not feel the oppressive need to trying to prove anything. The teacher was someone who loved yoga for yoga and the only thing she asked of us was to not come hungover to her class.

She taught biology along with yoga with no religion added in and I felt whole with my mind and body.

She did not twist us or even put us in a headstand, she focussed on us understanding our bodies and after my 8 classes were over, as I went over to thank her, i felt so overwhelmed that I bawled my eyes out, crying about finding a good teacher in Toronto. I am lucky enough that she has agreed to help me haha!!

So, here I am, a bodybuilder and a lifter, I practice yoga and I am by no means an ideal yogini but I am so happy with the way my body and mind respond and the amazing amazing teacher I had that I have a new found love for yoga.

Even if lifting is still on the driver’s seat, yoga is right by it as a co-driver.

body positivity

The relationship between physical fitness and mental health: My Story

Last week I asked my community to send in questions asking about the relationship between physical and mental fitness and I just uploaded a video about it.

HERE is the video for you to check out.

Now, I tell my story.

I was 270 lbs at my peak and suffered from severely low self esteem, this resulted in a minor personality disorder where I would act out in the weirdest ways, hate every single person and decided that I would rather be alone and eat than do anything about what plagues me.

A no filter #transformationtuesday I bulked and cut and lost weight and am so happy with my results. And despite the physical change a strong mental change has ensued. I have started a journey of discovering myself. Cliched enough? But under layers of fat and bad eating habits and stupid society, you tend to shut yourself in a cage. I am on youtube now, breaking the cage so that no one goes through what I did. we are beautiful at all sizes and fitness is about making you the best version of yourself. Join me on liftlikeagirl . . . . . . . . . #fitfam #fitlife #girlswithmuscles #beautiful #ukfitfam #weightloss #selflove #instafit #stronghold #strong #delhigirl #londonblogger #fitfam #bodybuilding #femalefitnessmotivation #indianfitness

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I was friendless and bullied and took it out on food and my family. I was NOT the best person to be around that time.

Slowly, I started dieting and lost “some” weight but by all means was still “fat” . This resulted in a minor change in me where I started getting some male attention (Hello, male validation for making women feel “good” about themselves) and I started drowning in depression and compliments. I would rather be called pretty than anything and I had no self respect.

I started lifting weights and had so many people muscle shame me because of that. I cut them off.

I started doing yoga and started listening to my mind for the first time in so many years.

Today, I stand here, a girl with muscles, a bodybuilder, an iyengar yogini and a person who is happiest at the gym, hitting the iron and I ward off all depressing thoughts with headstands.

If there was ever a cure for my depression, ED, low self esteem and everything else, it was physical fitness.


Life Lessons

Are we allowed to dream?


Self motivation and love for our own self is often termed as being selfish.

But how selfish should you be then? Are you not even allowed to dream?

Our self worth is often calculated in terms the society deems respectable and correct.

Are you rich? Definitely worth it.

Are you beautiful? Gorgeously worth it?

Do you have a big social circle? You are in!!??

But, does all of this truly make us happy?

I dream of making it in the big city. The Big Apple and there have been roadblocks but I persist. and I will.

As a former fat girl, I get to evaluate a before and after me, a chance many people do not get.

I have grown every single day into a human being my parents would be proud of and let’s face it, they are the only ones worth doing anything for.

I feel like we should be a train on a journey of self happiness and fulfilment and the people we meet and join in with are coaches but we are the engine.

We should never ever change our track for anyone and if they like you for who you are, they WILL join in or leave and that is OK.


Dream on and don’t care about the labels the world throws on us.

We are so much beyond labels.

Life Lessons

The liberty to choose a partner


Aren’t we all just a little bit obsessed with it?

We love watching romance films, reading novels that give us butterflies in the stomach and day dreaming about that dream boat you exchanged glances with.

In India and some other parts of the world, love seems to have been hijacked by insecure parents, societal demands and astrology. In an age old tradition of arranging marriages, relationships are being butchered and people sold off as perfect matches.

On paper, this seems like such a perfect concept, you match the class, type and anything else of two people, parents are happy with the family (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT IN INDIA) and lo! You are married off?

I don’t understand why the society and parents like to be in between two people, but that’s how arranged marriages work.

It is sad for me to see people still encouraging something like this where a personal choice is taken and made public, the topic of who you should marry ceases to lie with you but with your local neighbourhood aunty, relatives and experts.

It doesn’t matter if you are compatible or not.

It does not matter if you love each other of not.

And it definitely does not matter that one family will try and spread patriarchy as much as possible.

Well, i can get tired of tired of writing but this nonsense does not seem to stop.

Rather be single than be involved in an arranged marriage.

So, I shot a video rant with a funny girl and if you want, watch it for some laughs.

HERE is the video.

Life Lessons

Men do not stare at me at the GYM

I am at the gym, rushing through the sidewalk in a large coat with my active wear under me. I am almost always too excited at the prospect of the gym to waste time in the changing room.

I open the door and a cool breeze welcomes me and I know I am home.

I take off my coat and reveal a tight pair of grey gym pants, my favourite piece from Gap I got at a bargain in New Jersey.

My sports bra clings on my breasts and have a blue and often white cotton top to avoid any accidental boob slippage.

I walk down the shiny plastic red lit staircase to the basement where the heavy weights are, tightening my fanny pack and taking out my gym gloves to wear.

I stare at my reflection the in the mirror. A red haired girl stares back, a tribal tattoo peeking out from her left breast, a sneaky quote on her left wrist and a symbol on her neck. I raise my arms to tighten my hair and my grandmothers’ names on my arm peek out. All off these, surrounding me and giving me comfort.

The music blasts on and I put on my blue headphones at maximum volume, ready to lift and lift heavy.

As a woman who lives in the city, being comfortable with your body and the inherent nakedness that comes with at the gym are two paradoxical lives I have lived.

In the gym, while deadlifting, I would always push all off my top inside my sports bra to avoid any piece of cloth being stuck in my waist belt and while working out any body part, I make sure clothes are not a part of it.

Will I get stared at?

Will I get nasty comments or comments that would make me feel disgusting about being a woman?

A common answer would be yes, maybe.

But, to my surprise, I am never stared at. The gym is surrounded by people working their asses off on a schedule and is full of mirrors. Appreciative glances are passed and acknowledged at a good form, at a heavy weight you are lifting and at an amazing muscle pump you get and that is that.

90 minutes later, I step out, in my coat, a hoodie or a hat on my head and the only way you would know I am a woman is by looking at my breasts and behind and that is enough for men to stare at me.

They cannot see my eyes or my face.

They see red hair peeking out and curves and that walk is the most excruciatingly painful walk ever.

You can call out a cat-caller or fight someone who tries to touch you, but what do you do to people who stare at you and mentally undress you?

I often ask myself why would they do this? What do they gain from it? It is not like I hand out my number to any guy who stares at my body parts.

I found this open letter to men who stare and it connected with me.

Have you also faced this?

Have you been stared at and made to feel uncomfortable?

Please read this and comment with your experience.

Open Letter to Men who Stare





1 K Subscriber Giveaway!!

I am so so happy and blessed that my subscriber count on youtube has crossed 1ooo subscribers!

And as a special giveaway I looked into my jewellery collection and found this amazing unisex Swarovski Crystal watch and I am giving that away as my contest ends!!

To participate:

  1. Watch the whole video and answer the question in the end in my comment section.
  2. Follow and subscribe to me on youtube and instagram.

I will do this for 5 videos.

THIS is the first video of my super giveaway!

A full body gym and HIIT workout!

Hope you enjoy the video.

body positivity

Are Beauty Pageants Sexist?


I have always believed that parading a bunch of good looking people, mostly tall, skinny and fair women is one of the ways media and the society makes you think believe in a different standard of beauty.

We are all so different and are all beautiful.

I look at myself, I am short, barely crossing 153 inches, muscular with bulking biceps and strong quads, have red hair and brown skin and in no way will be getting a beauty queen crown in the near future.

So, I am slightly amused at the amount of happiness India has been giddying with an Indian woman winning the coveted Miss World crown. (Is Trump still behind the scenes?)

The banality of this is such, that in a patriarchal society where the media refuses to talk about rampant issues, we would rather feast our eyes on such beauties and objectify them


I am glad for Manushi Chillar, daughter of two doctors who, surprised me by actually having an opinion. (that does show my prejudice towards beauty contests and I plead guilty.)

And, as a consummate traveller, I stalked her instagram and found her very pleasing, raising hopes in me that she will take this pla60133549tform and speak up and do some good.

The other beauty queens who did something sensible, albeit a bit late were Priyanka Chopra and Sushmita Sen and everyone has been pretty much stereotypical.

But, I stand here, an optimist, waiting for the day when Indian beauty queens and beautSushmita-Seny queens in general represent the women of the world in a more wholesome and inclusive way.

But, do click here and watch her instagram and get some travel inspo.



I would love to know your opinion on beauty pageants.


fitness, Life Lessons

My Drunken Nights: Does Alcohol and Fitness Mix?

As it is Friday and we are all getting ready and headed off to drinks with friends, a session with wine and Netflix or plain simple house party. And we deserve it!

We have worked so hard the whole week that we need to unwind.

Now, alcohol haters will say there are other ways to unwind and relax and you do not need to intoxicate yourself. I beg to differ. I prefer days I can lounge and drink red wine and have a gossip session with my girlfriends. Or I like a strong pre-game night and club hopping with my friends and meeting cute guys over gin and tonic.

And my personal favourite? Getting sloshed on diet coke and rum and dancing away the night.

But, as I lost the weight and went deeper in the world of fitness, I realised how such nights, even one such night hampered my progress for almost a week. I would eat more, kill my diet, I would lie with a horrible hangover and I would lose my mental peace.

So, here I share a video where I talk about how Alcohol affects fitness.


On a lighter note I share some of my most memorable drinking stories. Do you have one? Comment with a fun thing that happened when you were pissed.

  1. As I mentioned in a video here. I once had two whole bottles of red wine and remembered the night. So, I had a major crush on this guy (who, I later found out was gay ) and was invited to a house party where he would be there. Now, in order to hide my embarrassment and my love for him, I started off with my house guest gift bottle and kept drinking, flirting as much as I could with him, thinking it was a successful night. I was the perfect faux hostess, handing out food, sharing funny stories and my love for Bollywood. I also made it a point to give an update to my best friend every 15 mins and needless to say, the next day and the few days later, I was shattered when I found out where his interests lay. Oh, and he had a serious boyfriend as well.
  2. The rum and coke night: A friend wanted to set me up with another friend of his. I was not too keen but it was a thursday and drinks would be cheap and I was tired from all the school work, so I sauntered off. I bought some drinks and some drinks were bought for me. I met the guy and did not think much of him. I met another guy who was married (My luck IS that good). We started dancing, the set up was sloshed on beer (light weight) and the married guy was chaperoning everyone (who gets married so young!!??) and then I met a guy who in my rum induced haze looked like Tom Cruise to me. I was a happy girl and my friends had to physically be around me all the time to prevent me from going and asking him if he was Tom Cruise (thank you for not letting me embarrass myself).
  3. The Vodka Incident: At a filmmakers mixer, I was a wingman for a friend who had it bad for another. Now, I don’t usually do setups but then they were both good friends and I genuinely thought she liked him. So I set up a date for them, sort of (I was third wheeling in my head) and kept buying them drinks and kept the conversation flowing and when she finally left the place, I thought it was a success. To celebrate, my friend and I went to another club pretending to be man and wife to avail a special discount, used my card again and again and the morning after had to call the father to get some money in order to not default.

Such is life.

It might seem interesting or a funny read but the pain of the hangover and the silly antics have put me off alcohol and the fact that now that I see my muscles and abs, I don’t want to run around with a beer belly or a red wine baby and ruin it all.