body positivity · Uncategorized

MALE BODY SHAMING

Body shaming is not just about girls getting shamed for being fat but men also deal with the pressures of the society.

Patriarchy does not differentiate between men and women as such. If women are confined to feminine roles, men, too, are forced to be masculine and have a perfect definition of “fit”.

I have been developing a web series called Cocktail Confessions, where I meet such people and talk through their experiences.

Here is a friend talking about Male Body Shaming:

Male Body Shaming

body positivity

Cocktail Confessions

My journey is something I always talk about but when I came up with this idea of confessions of other people and their body issues, I did not think I would meet so much resistance.

Back home, in London, and even in the whole of the UK, body acceptance is at an all time high. My idol, Anne Marie shows a regular sized body and everywhere in the media you will see regular sized people. As a filmmaker, I know how the camera adds some pounds. There will be skinny heroin chicks and buxom beauties. They will ALL be there.

As a big fan of Bollywood, I have been disappointed by the past few years where Indian women, known for their curves are going under the knife and dieting to ape the 90’s skinny American girls. The world is moving forward and Bollywood is going backwards.

But, coming to the point. As a body activist, I am not going for skinny shaming of glorifying obesity as I have been accused of. I am looking to help people love and accept their bodies the way it is.

As a fitness coach, I don’t advocate a weight or a size but the rush of endorphins and a happier and healthier lifestyle. I have seen the difference in my own body that it now rejects unhealthy items like cigarettes, alcohol and junk food. I want to run. I want to lift weight, I want to skip and be happy. THAT IS FITNESS.

So, with my cocktail confessions series, I started by talking to a sufferer of PCOS who suffered to facial hair and obesity and mental health issues. In the course of this, I am still in talks with other people but so far, the response in India has been appalling.

I have had a “fit” person ask me how is a fit person body shamed?

I have had another person tell me that you ned to be thick skinned and ignore the comments.

And a skinny person being rude to me saying he does need to eat.

I am fighting against labels. Just like the ones I used above.

Body shaming is a person judging you for your body first and your personality later.

Body shaming is you feeling the need to hide a regular bodily function because people cannot accept that. Period stains anyone?

Body shaming is people taking the liberty to call you fat or complimenting you on losing weight.

Anyone commenting on your body without your consent is body shaming.

Find the first episode of cocktai; confessions here and if you want to be a part of it, contact me.

body positivity · fitness · fitness journey · Uncategorized

Yoga Journey Update

As I am in India, I am practising and learning various forms of yoga. Mostly, it takes a lot of breathing and meditation, controlling your own self and flexibility.

The following pictures are snippets from my flexibility training and hoping to post an update that would show an improvement.

IMG_2184IMG_2099Plank Position to PushupIMG_2095IMG_2115IMG_2173

 

Also you can find me on my Youtube Channel LIFTLIKEAGIRL

And on Instagram : LIFTLIKEAGIRL_SAMAIRABLACK

 

body positivity · fitness journey · Life Lessons · Uncategorized

I am a FAT GIRL: A Poem

Fatso, giant, big boned, big fat arse

They smiled knowing it was just a farce.

She was not human, was she?

She was just a punchline of a joke.

When I picked a pizza, you saw me and scowled

How dare she eat that, you judged and frowned.

I remember the day i went to the cloth shop

A mother pointed at me, warning her daughter

You don’t want to look like her, she said

They both looked at me, messing with my head.

Fatso, giant, big boned, big fat arse

They smiled knowing it was just a farce.

She was not human, was she?

She was just a punchline of a joke.

I pulled and pulled the biggest jeans over my fat thighs

Wishing I could cut off the flesh with the sharpest knife.

You came to me and said I was fat

You were a friend but what right you had?

You said he will love you for your personality.

Insinuating I wasn’t good enough for him.

I see you today and I want to ask you again.

Did you see me that day, did you feel my pain?

You said my sister was prettier than I

You said I was ugly forcing me to hide my sigh.

I walked on the street and you screamed at me

Oi fatty! You shouted in jest and ran off before I could see.

Fatso, giant, big boned, big fat arse

They smiled knowing it was just a farce.

She was not human, was she?

She was just a punchline of a joke.

You said I was bigger than my mum

Reducing me to just a size of my bum.

You asked me out on a date

It was a dare to make the fat girl wait.

At parties you wanted to laugh at me.

Watching me eat or dressing me up, wasn’t it fun to see?

I went to the gym and dropped the pounds.

You came running after me like hounds.

Suddenly what I said mattered to you.

My face, my brains, my heart were yours to woo.

Do I leave the fat girl behind?

Does she not deserve a chance and a love to find?

Was she not human enough or just a wad of fat.

For you to mock and shame and wander in your tall hat.

The fat girl in me is still within hearing range.

You may not see her, but I see your behaviour change.

I may be half of her but she is whole of me.

She remembers and so do we.

body positivity · fitness · Life Lessons

Are you a body shamer?

body shaming
noun
  1. 1.
    the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.
    “she is not the only celebrity to speak up about body shaming”
adjective
  1. 1.
    expressing mockery or criticism about a person’s body shape or size.
    “the singer has been dealing not only with heartache but with nasty body-shaming comments”
    body2

The society has conditioned us in such a way that for most of us, body shaming is a natural and normal way of life. So much so that, we don’t realise when we cause it and unintentially perpetuate it.

So, here is a handy list to strike off to see if you are a body shamer.

Have you:

  1. Called someone fat?
  2. Called someone skinny?
  3. Said this particular type of clothing doesn’t look good on them?
  4. Commented on thick thighs?
  5. Commented on skinny arms or any part of their anatomy?
  6. Complimented them on losing weight?
  7. Complimented them on gaining weight?
  8. Asked if they are a on a diet?
  9. Asked if they are sure they want the last pizza slice?
  10. Given free advice on healthy eating?
  11. Said if they only lost/gained the weight they would look so much better?
  12. Said you look amazing for a fat/skinny person?
  13. Said the person they will fall in love with will love them for their personality and not their looks?
  14. Discussed someone’s body and looks with friends?

A person’s look and body and what they wear is a completely personal choice and till the time the said person does not ask for your opinion, giving it results in body shaming and if you ever do that, however well meaning you might be, you only add to the problem.

 

Ciao Adios!body