Last week I asked my community to send in questions asking about the relationship between physical and mental fitness and I just uploaded a video about it.
HERE is the video for you to check out.
Now, I tell my story.
I was 270 lbs at my peak and suffered from severely low self esteem, this resulted in a minor personality disorder where I would act out in the weirdest ways, hate every single person and decided that I would rather be alone and eat than do anything about what plagues me.
A no filter #transformationtuesday I bulked and cut and lost weight and am so happy with my results. And despite the physical change a strong mental change has ensued. I have started a journey of discovering myself. Cliched enough? But under layers of fat and bad eating habits and stupid society, you tend to shut yourself in a cage. I am on youtube now, breaking the cage so that no one goes through what I did. we are beautiful at all sizes and fitness is about making you the best version of yourself. Join me on liftlikeagirl . . . . . . . . . #fitfam #fitlife #girlswithmuscles #beautiful #ukfitfam #weightloss #selflove #instafit #stronghold #strong #delhigirl #londonblogger #fitfam #bodybuilding #femalefitnessmotivation #indianfitness
I was friendless and bullied and took it out on food and my family. I was NOT the best person to be around that time.
Slowly, I started dieting and lost “some” weight but by all means was still “fat” . This resulted in a minor change in me where I started getting some male attention (Hello, male validation for making women feel “good” about themselves) and I started drowning in depression and compliments. I would rather be called pretty than anything and I had no self respect.
4 years transformation: The obvious is the weight loss and fashion sense but for me, it has been more about personal and mental growth as well. I have overcome personal losses, battled depression, body image dysmorphia and have fallen in love with working out and gyming. I found my love for films and as I stand today, a mere few days after another devastating personal loss, I find myself unwilling to retreat into a shell and try and empower as many people as I possible can. I find joy in talking to people and interacting with my youtube community of positive people. I find that hard times come and you fight that and cherish each experience and each person.
I started lifting weights and had so many people muscle shame me because of that. I cut them off.
There are so many times such as now when I feel like I am trapped in a prison where I cannot move. I want to break free of it all but think of those close to me. I live in the now hoping the later would be better. Till then , I hope to get better at yoga but twist and turn and crush the demons in me.
I started doing yoga and started listening to my mind for the first time in so many years.
Today, I stand here, a girl with muscles, a bodybuilder, an iyengar yogini and a person who is happiest at the gym, hitting the iron and I ward off all depressing thoughts with headstands.
If there was ever a cure for my depression, ED, low self esteem and everything else, it was physical fitness.