Life Lessons

13 Reasons Why : Why we should watch this show

A TV show that has been in the news for both negative and positive reasons, 13 Reasons Why is a must watch.

The show has been criticised for its almost artistic portrayal of suicide and mental illness and is peppered with warnings showing graphic images of sexual assault and the actual act of suicide.

But the message in the show is so very important that we need to really focus on that. It reaches into the dark corners of your heart and mind, into memories suppressed and forcefully forgotten. With time, many memories are whitewashed into nostalgia for high school and TV and films make high school seem almost romantic. 13 Reasons Why shatters that illusion and forces you to actually introspect about your own school life. What were you when you were a teen? What did you say or do? How did you react and interact with others?

Netflix's_13_Reasons_Why_title_screenOn the surface the show is about how bullying can affect people and how small acts magnify into major reactions. But what I get away from it is the fact that every word you say and every action of yours affects someone in someway.

We are guilty of it. All of us.

I remember once befriending a new girl in high school and during recess ignoring her and chatting with my mates. I shifted from my seat and saw her crying through the window, out in the park. I did not talk to her ever but that image of her, quietly sobbing still haunts me.

And I have been on the other end of the spectrum, hearing someone talk bad about me.

The show is a creative genius, showing both sides of different cliques and people and forces us to stop being judgemental. It is important because we need to learn not be judgemental. Many friendships are broken because we cannot stop and empathise, relationships deteriorate because we are quick to make a judgement and immediately believe anything that is negative.

The show may have garnered rave reviews and criticisms alike but should also been looked at through the mirror of human introspection and make us better human beings, kinder and gentler.

body positivity · fitness · Life Lessons

Are you a body shamer?

body shaming
noun
  1. 1.
    the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.
    “she is not the only celebrity to speak up about body shaming”
adjective
  1. 1.
    expressing mockery or criticism about a person’s body shape or size.
    “the singer has been dealing not only with heartache but with nasty body-shaming comments”
    body2

The society has conditioned us in such a way that for most of us, body shaming is a natural and normal way of life. So much so that, we don’t realise when we cause it and unintentially perpetuate it.

So, here is a handy list to strike off to see if you are a body shamer.

Have you:

  1. Called someone fat?
  2. Called someone skinny?
  3. Said this particular type of clothing doesn’t look good on them?
  4. Commented on thick thighs?
  5. Commented on skinny arms or any part of their anatomy?
  6. Complimented them on losing weight?
  7. Complimented them on gaining weight?
  8. Asked if they are a on a diet?
  9. Asked if they are sure they want the last pizza slice?
  10. Given free advice on healthy eating?
  11. Said if they only lost/gained the weight they would look so much better?
  12. Said you look amazing for a fat/skinny person?
  13. Said the person they will fall in love with will love them for their personality and not their looks?
  14. Discussed someone’s body and looks with friends?

A person’s look and body and what they wear is a completely personal choice and till the time the said person does not ask for your opinion, giving it results in body shaming and if you ever do that, however well meaning you might be, you only add to the problem.

 

Ciao Adios!body

 

 

fitness · fitness journey · Life Lessons

Lose weight Fast

I have had a lot of people come up to me and ask about weight loss advice, people who crash diet for a week and obsess over the number on the17512_10151684925016928_503718091_n scale.

Please do not!!

First of all look at yourself and ask why you want to lose weight. A checklist:

  1. Did you see a skinny model or an actor you want to look like?
  2. Are people around you saying you are fat?
  3. Do you think you look ugly?

If you answered yes to any of the above, think again. You are beautiful and the problem is that media and society is used to just one type of body and if you do not see your body represented in the media or represented in a negative way that does not mean you are ugly.
The right reasons to lose weight are:

  1. Be fitter and healthier
  2. Achieve a fitness goal
  3. Feel good about yourself.

I would recommend looking up Lena Dunham’s comments on her weight loss. They have been so inspirational.

Lena Dunham on her weight loss

Now for the good part. My Tips and tricks to permanently lose the weight.

I went from 220 pounds to 110 to 120 pounds and cannot be healthier and stronger.

So here goes:

  1. Portion Control: Find out the correct portion size for you. For example, the palm of your hand is the amount of carbs, your fist would be your proteins, your thumb would be fats.
  2. Do not hate carbs: Carbs or carbohydrates are everywhere. Fruits and vegetables also have carbs which gives you energy. You need energy to go through the day!! Be mindful of the types of carbs you eat. A piece of cake is carbs but it has frosting and sugar and oil and fats!! Go for options such as whole wheat bread or pita bread.
  3. Exercise: Find a type of exercise you like and sweat!!! Get your heart beat up and exercise for at least 20-30 mins every day. After a while you will start enjoying your workouts and find ways to do more stuff and stay active.
  4. Consistency: You will have many false starts, start the next monday and all but do not give up!! Keep trying till you reach a point where you workout 3-4 days a week.
  5. Dairy: Some people like me have an issue with dairy as it causes bloating and the there are some moral issues as well. So I shun dairy. Mostly dairy is for the cow’s calf and not for humans. So think twice before drinking a whole glass of milk. It has fats and hormones are injected into it and so much adulteration that really does you a lot of harm.
  6. Home cooked: Prefer home cooked meals to takeaways. Prepare your foods even if it takes time, dedicate a day to food prep and you will notice a change. But if you make pizzas every day or a grilled cheese, you know you are eating mostly fats.
  7. Balanced meal: A balanced meals has all food groups, proteins, carbs and fats. Do that for all meals you eat.
  8. Eat your veggies: Eat at least 5 portions of fresh fruits and veggies. Actively look for seasonal fruits and fill up.
  9. Mindful Snacking: Do not grab a packet of crisps when you are famished. Look for healthy snacks like carrot sticks, humus, whole nuts and any kind of fruits.
  10.  Water: Drink loads of water. Add lemon or cucumbers for some flavour but do aim for a healthy amount of water. Sometimes when you are thirsty, you feel hungry and tend to eat more. Drink water!

landscape-1489590523-weight-loss-snacks

Losing weight is not about the number on the scale. It is about a healthier and happier you.

Life Lessons

Saying Goodbye to Girls

When I first saw Girls, I was on the precipice of a life changing decision and toying with the various possibilities of life. Fresh from a Sex and the City hangover, Girls drew me in for its setting, the city of New York and the story of four girlfriends.

girls 1I would see myself and my best friends in the characters of SATC and it gave me fashion goals and life lessons about things Indians rarely talk about. It empowered me to think about myself as a woman and I leapt into Girls expecting a similar polishing of New York city life and female friendships.
Except it wasn’t.

The first time Lena Dunham took off her clothes on the show, I was half expecting a fat joke or a punchline and then Hannah and Adam proceed to have a very jerky and unromantic sex session. This was the first time sex was shown on screen as it is. Sweaty, noisy and not missionary.

I wasn’t hooked but I kept tabs with the show.

girls 3

And now, 6 seasons later, as the friendships deteriorated on the show and Hannah becomes a mother, I am the same age as the protagonists and I see myself in them.

I do not compare myself to the characters but seeing them trying to chalk out a living in a big city, not having a job, playing with various jobs, juggling friendships and relationships all the while detesting the term millennials and being pop cultured made me feel like I am home.

While there are people my age who have jobs and savings and are buying houses and cars, I am still looking at random gigs, working in films and being active on social media.

Girls made me feel like I am not alone and Lena Dunham’s writing and the selfish characters in the show gave me a fresh perspective on life and feminism.

I learnt to define myself, tackle my body image issues and create a feminist ideology for myself.

Lena Dunham did not stick to an arc for her story but chose issue ranging from best friend’s betrayal to early marriage and divorce, writing and quitting jobs, parent’s divorce and it was all so real and not toned down.

I am glad shows like Girls gave way to more shows and opened up topics of conversations that were taboo.