body positivity, Uncategorized


Body shaming is not just about girls getting shamed for being fat but men also deal with the pressures of the society.

Patriarchy does not differentiate between men and women as such. If women are confined to feminine roles, men, too, are forced to be masculine and have a perfect definition of “fit”.

I have been developing a web series called Cocktail Confessions, where I meet such people and talk through their experiences.

Here is a friend talking about Male Body Shaming:

Male Body Shaming

body positivity, fitness journey, Life Lessons, Uncategorized

I am a FAT GIRL: A Poem

Fatso, giant, big boned, big fat arse

They smiled knowing it was just a farce.

She was not human, was she?

She was just a punchline of a joke.

When I picked a pizza, you saw me and scowled

How dare she eat that, you judged and frowned.

I remember the day i went to the cloth shop

A mother pointed at me, warning her daughter

You don’t want to look like her, she said

They both looked at me, messing with my head.

Fatso, giant, big boned, big fat arse

They smiled knowing it was just a farce.

She was not human, was she?

She was just a punchline of a joke.

I pulled and pulled the biggest jeans over my fat thighs

Wishing I could cut off the flesh with the sharpest knife.

You came to me and said I was fat

You were a friend but what right you had?

You said he will love you for your personality.

Insinuating I wasn’t good enough for him.

I see you today and I want to ask you again.

Did you see me that day, did you feel my pain?

You said my sister was prettier than I

You said I was ugly forcing me to hide my sigh.

I walked on the street and you screamed at me

Oi fatty! You shouted in jest and ran off before I could see.

Fatso, giant, big boned, big fat arse

They smiled knowing it was just a farce.

She was not human, was she?

She was just a punchline of a joke.

You said I was bigger than my mum

Reducing me to just a size of my bum.

You asked me out on a date

It was a dare to make the fat girl wait.

At parties you wanted to laugh at me.

Watching me eat or dressing me up, wasn’t it fun to see?

I went to the gym and dropped the pounds.

You came running after me like hounds.

Suddenly what I said mattered to you.

My face, my brains, my heart were yours to woo.

Do I leave the fat girl behind?

Does she not deserve a chance and a love to find?

Was she not human enough or just a wad of fat.

For you to mock and shame and wander in your tall hat.

The fat girl in me is still within hearing range.

You may not see her, but I see your behaviour change.

I may be half of her but she is whole of me.

She remembers and so do we.

fitness journey

Body Positivity Challenge

We have been flooded by so many perfect pictures of models that when we look at our own selves in the mirror, we feel we lack a lot.

There are skinny models who show off their thigh gaps and bones and curvy models with the perfect curves or fit models with amazing muscles. But we need to look beyond that and see how they are photoshopped or presented in there best possible angle.

Screen Shot 2017-04-06 at 15.45.44

I get enamoured by these images and start criticising myself. For the longest I was led to believe that certain clothes fit a certain body type and as a fat girl I would cover my body up. As I started losing the weight, I did not see the bones or muscles that defined the body of these picture perfect girls and felt at a loss with my saggy loose skin.

I look at myself in the mirror and flex and can feel my hard work of 2 years and muscles but it is covered by loose skin. I do not have enough loose skin for a surgery and am coming to terms with living with it. It does not cause any problem to me and after having conversations with people around me I decided I need to stop criticising myself and start accepting the uniqueness of me.

I am stronger than ever and in the best shape of my life and I need to accept and love it.

My first step of acceptance is to be confident in my skin and wear whatever I want to without feeling the need to cover up.

Screen Shot 2017-04-06 at 15.46.00I have devised body positive challenge for this.

On days I feel like I really hate my body or certain part, I will challenge myself to a task and make it happen and make myself feel comfortable in my skin.

Today, I decided to workout in my sports bra that showed my stomach. I have been working hard on my core and there are angles where you muscles but there are other angles where the skin on my stomach sags and I get the dreaded stomach pocket. I had to be careful enough to carefree and just workout with it.

I did that today and the feeling of apprehension and dread that filled me was replaced by a weird sense of confidence about myself and my body and in a strange way made me feel closer to myself and love my own self a little bit more.

fitness journey

Body Shaming

WhatsApp Image 2017-03-26 at 19.36.39As a fat girl for the majority of my life, I have not been averse to body shaming comments.

Many people think that by shaming a fat person’s body, you can “motivate” that person into becoming “thin”. Once again reinforcing the stereotype that thin is healthy or that thin is beautiful. But the point here is that people need to accept their bodies for what they are make it the best version of itself.

Be fit and exercise not because you want to be thin but because you want to live longer and climb that dreaded staircase. Exercise because you want to be able to punch harder than the strongest guy you know and run faster than the fastest person you know.

I remember being called a buffalo by my school mates and made fun of when I wasn’t around. My size did not make me a target but made me more invisible. I was not a girl or even a human being with feelings but I was an ugly excuse of a fat creature to be mocked and made fun of. Boys would come up to me ask me out on a dare because my feelings were inversely proportional to my fat, meaning, I had none.

I was always the last chosen in a PE class and mostly ignored by the “pretty girls”. My relatives and cousins would come up to me and ask me exercise so that I can become thin and pretty. I doubt any of them even cared ab
out my well being or health. This took a toll on my mental health.

As a former fat girl, I know what we do. We either eat our feelings in defiance or sadness or build a wall around ourselves that shapes what we are today. I did not have healthy role models to look at and my body type was rarely seen on Tv except as a butt of all jokes.

Remember, Fat Monica dancing as the punch line of an episode in FRIENDS?

fat monica.gif

And for the majority of the time, fat people were always a comic thing. My body was shaped by my genes. My hourglass figure is a result of my Indian heritage, I can try as hard as I want to get that straight caucasian figure but I will never get that. And for the first time in my life, I have started accepting this. I am fit and healthy and I can run as fast and as long as I want. I am pushing my body to its physical limits and I love it and yet I have the curve of my hips and my mermaid thighs. I do not have a thigh gap and will probably not have it ever. But this is my body and I am happy with it.

As I started losing weight, the true extent of my smallness hit me. I have a naturally thin face and a thin waist coupled with broad shoulders and broad hips. So, on the other end of the spectrum, I was called skin and bones and a skeleton by many. It felt like you can never impress people. They will always body shame you.

I have been Fat shamed.

I have been skinny shamed.

And with my muscles now, I have been fit shamed.

And I ignore these body shamers. It is a tough journey but a piece of advice, if you want someone you love to lose weight and be healthy please do not call them fat or give them unsolicited advice. Its likely that they are already feeling it and going through the motions on their own. Let them accept who they are, praise them, encourage them. They are more than their size and so should you be too.