body positivity, Uncategorized

MALE BODY SHAMING

Body shaming is not just about girls getting shamed for being fat but men also deal with the pressures of the society.

Patriarchy does not differentiate between men and women as such. If women are confined to feminine roles, men, too, are forced to be masculine and have a perfect definition of “fit”.

I have been developing a web series called Cocktail Confessions, where I meet such people and talk through their experiences.

Here is a friend talking about Male Body Shaming:

Male Body Shaming

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body positivity, fitness, Life Lessons

Are you a body shamer?

body shaming
noun
  1. 1.
    the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.
    “she is not the only celebrity to speak up about body shaming”
adjective
  1. 1.
    expressing mockery or criticism about a person’s body shape or size.
    “the singer has been dealing not only with heartache but with nasty body-shaming comments”
    body2

The society has conditioned us in such a way that for most of us, body shaming is a natural and normal way of life. So much so that, we don’t realise when we cause it and unintentially perpetuate it.

So, here is a handy list to strike off to see if you are a body shamer.

Have you:

  1. Called someone fat?
  2. Called someone skinny?
  3. Said this particular type of clothing doesn’t look good on them?
  4. Commented on thick thighs?
  5. Commented on skinny arms or any part of their anatomy?
  6. Complimented them on losing weight?
  7. Complimented them on gaining weight?
  8. Asked if they are a on a diet?
  9. Asked if they are sure they want the last pizza slice?
  10. Given free advice on healthy eating?
  11. Said if they only lost/gained the weight they would look so much better?
  12. Said you look amazing for a fat/skinny person?
  13. Said the person they will fall in love with will love them for their personality and not their looks?
  14. Discussed someone’s body and looks with friends?

A person’s look and body and what they wear is a completely personal choice and till the time the said person does not ask for your opinion, giving it results in body shaming and if you ever do that, however well meaning you might be, you only add to the problem.

 

Ciao Adios!body

 

 

fitness journey

Body Shaming

WhatsApp Image 2017-03-26 at 19.36.39As a fat girl for the majority of my life, I have not been averse to body shaming comments.

Many people think that by shaming a fat person’s body, you can “motivate” that person into becoming “thin”. Once again reinforcing the stereotype that thin is healthy or that thin is beautiful. But the point here is that people need to accept their bodies for what they are make it the best version of itself.

Be fit and exercise not because you want to be thin but because you want to live longer and climb that dreaded staircase. Exercise because you want to be able to punch harder than the strongest guy you know and run faster than the fastest person you know.

I remember being called a buffalo by my school mates and made fun of when I wasn’t around. My size did not make me a target but made me more invisible. I was not a girl or even a human being with feelings but I was an ugly excuse of a fat creature to be mocked and made fun of. Boys would come up to me ask me out on a dare because my feelings were inversely proportional to my fat, meaning, I had none.

I was always the last chosen in a PE class and mostly ignored by the “pretty girls”. My relatives and cousins would come up to me and ask me exercise so that I can become thin and pretty. I doubt any of them even cared ab
out my well being or health. This took a toll on my mental health.

As a former fat girl, I know what we do. We either eat our feelings in defiance or sadness or build a wall around ourselves that shapes what we are today. I did not have healthy role models to look at and my body type was rarely seen on Tv except as a butt of all jokes.

Remember, Fat Monica dancing as the punch line of an episode in FRIENDS?

fat monica.gif

And for the majority of the time, fat people were always a comic thing. My body was shaped by my genes. My hourglass figure is a result of my Indian heritage, I can try as hard as I want to get that straight caucasian figure but I will never get that. And for the first time in my life, I have started accepting this. I am fit and healthy and I can run as fast and as long as I want. I am pushing my body to its physical limits and I love it and yet I have the curve of my hips and my mermaid thighs. I do not have a thigh gap and will probably not have it ever. But this is my body and I am happy with it.

As I started losing weight, the true extent of my smallness hit me. I have a naturally thin face and a thin waist coupled with broad shoulders and broad hips. So, on the other end of the spectrum, I was called skin and bones and a skeleton by many. It felt like you can never impress people. They will always body shame you.

I have been Fat shamed.

I have been skinny shamed.

And with my muscles now, I have been fit shamed.

And I ignore these body shamers. It is a tough journey but a piece of advice, if you want someone you love to lose weight and be healthy please do not call them fat or give them unsolicited advice. Its likely that they are already feeling it and going through the motions on their own. Let them accept who they are, praise them, encourage them. They are more than their size and so should you be too.